From Coach Bartram

Tonight the boys and I are loading up and driving north to Waynesboro, VA. Why? The opportunity to be exposed to 9 hours with 2008 Olympic Gold Medalist Henry Cejudo. Nobody can deny that this is a fantastic opportunity with the potential to influence each of us for the rest of our lives, not just the wrestling part of our lives, but all aspects. With only 65 kids allowed to attend, I feel very lucky to have gotten in the boys in.

As the boys grow, it takes more sacrifice to obtain their goals. The types of sacrifice vary and change over time. Jared’s sacrifices are new, the sacrifices that Sam faces Jared has already been through, but they are new to Sam and different  (to him and to us as his parents) because he is a different kid than his brother and has different needs. Sometimes as parents, we overlook these sacrifices; in fact, we may not even see them as sacrifices. We may not even view them as something that needs to be decided; the answer is so simple and clear to us. The challenge as a parent is to continuously step back and actively listen to our children. Here is an example from earlier this week.

It is about 8pm, Jared is working out in the garage, and I am deep into homework at my desk in the ‘office’. Sam walks in and asks, “What time does the clinic start on Saturday?” Simple question, simple answer, I am knee deep in homework, time for a quick response, “It’s starts at 9, Sam” enters my mind but does not come out of my mouth. I force myself to say, “Sorry, can you say that again?”

Sam: What time does the clinic start?

Me: Why do you ask?

Sam: No reason.

Me: Come on, what is it? School dance?

Sam: No, skating rink night.

Me: Oh. Want to go?

Sam: How far is the drive?

Me: We would have to leave by 4, and get up at 3:30 (that is what he really wanted to know)

Sam: Oh, ok.

Me: Want to go to the skating rink? (Jared looks at me like I am crazy, that offer would never have been on the table when he was in 7^th grade)

Sam: No, that’s ok.

Me: Are you sure?

Sam: Yep.

Me: Alright, thanks son.

Thanks, for your sacrifice, I think to myself. At 13, socialization is important to Sam and has steadily increased in importance since he entered middle school last year. Another social event missed for wrestling, but, it was his choice not mine, and a good one too. Staying over Saturday night is not an option and we all would have been a wreck (or increased our chances for a wreck) if we had gotten up that early and drove home that late. The difference in it being his choice or mine is important. It makes the sacrifice more meaningful to him and puts responsibility for the sacrifice where it belongs, on his shoulders. On Monday when his friends ask him where he was he can say, I was with Olympic Gold Medalist Henry Cejudo, check out this picture of him and me. Cool, they will say. Much better than, ‘my dad made me go to Virginia Friday night’.

And it all started with simply not giving the easy answer but pausing and take thirty seconds to actively listen.

Have a great weekend! See you at registration next week!